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BIOGRAPHY

I was born and raised in the small, Northeastern hamlet of Brooklyn, NY, in the quiet, quaint neighborhood of fishing boats and lighthouses, known as Sheepshead Bay. To this day, even 3000 miles away, in the hustling, bustling megalopolis known as San Jose, if I squint my ears, I can almost hear the faint memory of those bygone Brooklyn fog horns, and the shouts of the local fisherman, "Are you gonna buy the fucking fish or not, lady?".

Many was the day we would walk barefoot along the pier, hoping a fish would bite the hook on the end of our homemade fishing poles, fashioned from our mother's broomsticks and father's spark plug wires, the glint of the afternoon sun reflecting off the smooth white surface of the used condoms floating in the bay.

If I could go back in a time machine to those bygone days, I would surely be extraordinarily wealthy from having invented a time machine. As such, I wouldn't really need to go back other than to bet on sporting events I already knew the results of, and to stop that motherfucker from shooting Robert Kennedy in the head.

For about 20 years, I was a concert soundman. I started out working for local bands in NY clubs like CBGB's and Max's Kansas City. Then, on to national tours for big artists in bigger venues. I did a few foreign tours, as well, including the Moscow Peace Festival in the former Soviet Union.

Towards the end of my sound man days, I was the house engineer at the The Rainbow Room in Rockefeller Center and Windows on the World at the World Trade Center. During the day, I would also do sound for their corporate events. That was my transition from concert soundman into corporate multimedia specialist.

In one fell swoop, I went from the exciting world of sex, drugs, and rock n roll to the world of corporate bullshit, which involves doing things in illogical ways that make things five times more difficult, and speaking in some weird language that sort of resembles English, such as saying "core competency" instead of "talent", "leverage" instead of "use", and "executive vice president" instead of "raging douche nozzle".

Luckily, I keep sane by performing stand-up comedy in the SF Bay area. I perform at The Improv, Rooster T. Feathers, Stanford Comedy Club, and others. I share the stage with some of the best comics in the Bay Area, such as Brian Malow, Jimmy Gunn, Reggie Steele, and Robin Williams. (OK. I lied about Robin Williams.)

Please come and see me perform. I promise that you will have a great time. (But, frankly, I have been known to lie before, not 5 seconds ago!) Check my schedule for a show near you.


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