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Next Show: TBA |
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| RANTS | |||||||||||
| Blue Teeth |
Take that Bluetooth earpiece out of your ear right now! Unless you are actually on a call, or opening a subspace channel to Starfleet, take it out. I'm not kidding Uhura! Do it. Now. Or, I'm gonna come over there, and knock it out of your ear myself by smacking you so hard in the head, it will go flying across the room. (The earpiece, not your head. On second thought, your head.) | ||||||||||
| Gimme a Signal |
Use your turn signals! The friggin switch is right next to the steering wheel. Take the 10th of a second to reach your finger over and expend the miniscule amount of energy necessary, so that I know what the fuck you are doing in front of me. Otherwise, I will hit your car with my car. Not just because you surprised me by changing lanes six inches in front of me at a red light with no warning. It's because you're you're a lazy, inconsiderate cocksucker driving a nicer car than I am! | ||||||||||
| You No Drive Here |
I'm getting pretty tired of all the racist comments about Asian drivers. I'm offended when I hear, "All Asians are terrible drivers!" Bullshit! All Asians are not terrible drivers. All Chinese are terrible drivers. Do not blame all Asians! (Indians, too, of course. But, just because India is physically in Asia, doesn't make Indians "Asians", just like living in Florida doesn't make old Jews from NY "Southerners".) | ||||||||||
| Checks and Grievances |
Stop paying for your groceries with a check! I'm tired of waiting behind you while you fumble around with your little checkbook. Every bank issues ATM cards, and every supermarket accepts them. You're not fooling anybody! We know what you're doing. You don't have the money to pay for your groceries right now. Look... It's 2006. Paying for stuff with a check is like paying with livestock. You might as well be handing the cashier a goat. (Except that you won't have any goats until payday, I know.) | ||||||||||
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